When Should We Try Couples Therapy? (Hint: Earlier Than You Think)
Most couples wait an average of six years after problems start before seeking help. Here's why earlier is better — and what to expect in your first session.
March 14, 2026 5 min readBy A Balanced Approach Clinical Team
Research from the Gottman Institute found that couples wait an average of six years between the start of relationship problems and reaching out for therapy. By then, patterns are entrenched and resentment has built up.
Signs it's time - You're having the same fight on repeat. - You feel more like roommates than partners. - One or both of you is shutting down or stonewalling. - A specific event (infidelity, loss, big transition) shifted things. - You want a tune-up — even when things are mostly good.
What the first session looks like We'll meet together, hear both perspectives, and start building a shared map of the relationship. There's no taking sides. Most couples leave the first session feeling lighter than they expected.
It works The most-studied couples therapy approaches — EFT and the Gottman Method — have success rates above 70%. The earlier you start, the better the odds.
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